Masculinity

Not much needs to be said regarding the confusion surrounding male energy that exists within most cultures in the world, since it's something most even marginally reflective souls are aware of. The cultural pressure on men to be strong, to not feel, to take responsibility and control over their female partners, and to exercise a dominant and selfish sexuality of course have nothing to do with an authentic masculinity. What, then, is the condition of a realized masculine soul?

For one, masculinity is one half of a pairing, and works in compliment to the feminine side of each individual. We are glad to see the soulmate pair in “heterosexual” pairings represented as the yin/yang symbol.

However, each soul, and of course the masculine half of a soulmate pair, also has their own feminine nature in addition to their female soulmate. Many men have this misconception that their partner is their feminine half, which of course is not the case.

However, this is not the issue your soulmate Luke is presently curious about. How does the masculine soul relate to its own masculine nature, and what constitutes the appropriate boundaries and characteristics of this soul?


Masculinity in the most positive sense is:

● Physically identified: the masculine side of the soul is what enables the individual to remain grounded in the practical and active nature of the body in terms of how it can influence and shape the outside world. True and healthy masculinity respects the male body as a structure of potential, and of physical strength and health. Women have the unique ability to create life within – the masculine is identified with creating life without.

● Sexually charged: the masculine soul has a relationship to sexuality which is not dominant by default – this dominance is one of the most misused aspects of the male soul. Rather, sexual play is a landscape of potential emotional growth, in part because it gives both partners a chance to explore, by turns, their own active and passive desires. A masculine soul is willing to explore a healthy sexuality where they are sometimes the initiator and active party, and where their partner is encouraged in their freedom to do the same. A reticence about taking an active role in sexuality, or a hyperactive desire for control, are both signals that this aspect is in need of rehabilitation. Men are often more wounded in sexuality than they are willing to come to terms with, and find a partner who is willing to compliment their sexual injuries with injuries of her own.

It is vital in order for the masculine soul to realize its full potential to explore a range of sexual feelings that encompass the emotional range, and to view sexual behaviour as play rather than possession. When children play together, and one participant decides to “boss the other around”, the energy shifts so that fun is no longer possible. However, we did say we would touch on this in more detail later, so despite your curiosity we'll move on for now, all right?

● Instructional: Men are able, when healthy, to share practical knowledge and personal experience without force and without neutrality. Healthy men are passionate about their words and ideas and feelings, in addition to the words, ideas, and feelings of others. This keen interest in life is a form of play. Men are often competitive within their injuries, causing them to distort and value a hyper-“masculine” version of their own soul. This causes interrupting, anger, dispassionate arguments where nothing is at stake but self-esteem, etc. One must work to cultivate a deep respect and love for both sides of any issue, while simultaneously working to feel and understand truth. Once truth is discovered, it is the masculine side of the soul that longs to engage in the dissemination and spread of knowledge.

● Community-building: Due to the active nature of the masculine soul, men at their full potential desire to create and promote the interests of others, move freely in the projects of others, and give resources and time to build change in the world. The process of forgetting competition and self-interest is difficult for men who train themselves to be “right” at all times, and to value their own goals and schemes over those of others, regardless of how similar these goals may be.

Men work together with women, children, the land, and one another to generate a new energetic and physical creation – the community, a representation of God's soul on earth.

When men identify more with their feminine side than their masculine characteristics, the difficulty arises that their individuality becomes lopsided. We've likened it before to an individual electing to work out only one muscle grouping – say, the arms and shoulders. There are many men out there who have huge arms but puny legs, although both sides are equally vital. However, since many men exercise not for total fitness but to look attractive, they pump up their arms and hope no one will notice their little lower half. In fact, they may not notice it themselves! This occurs regardless of whether it's the ♀ or ♂ side that becomes overbearing, and a new approach is necessary to happiness.

What we would suggest, for example, to Luke, is to take the role in situations that he has taken the least often. If he is usually quiet, let him speak often, firmly, and publicly. If he prefers to cook than chop wood, let him chop wood. If he is usually on bottom, let him be on top (we smile at your horrified embarrassment). This state of affairs can last as long as he's willing to trigger his emotions. In this reversal Luke will feel discomfort, bad at the roles he performs, wishing he was doing other things, and reminded of a childhood filled with meaningless shows of masculinity and disinteresting physical work. Let him do it anyway.

We're not saying that the masculine soul needs to work until it becomes more itself. On the contrary, just as in exercise, Luke and other men with the same or opposite tendency to overdevelopment of the male or female side will begin to enjoy the new strengths and desires that come with working out unfamiliar roles. It will bring back the programming of childhood and shed light on new paths. You can also tell Luke that his present physical discomfort has to do with the first area we mentioned, his physical identification. It's hard to live actively in your body, where the body becomes an agent for shaping and moving energy and matter.  He'll be ok. However, he responds to pain by lying perfectly still and not triggering it, when gentle stretching and movement would be far more beneficial, and the Love will continue (and increase) in flow.

Likewise, Luke can now begin to experiment with sexuality in his own way, a more desirous and perhaps more “possessive”-looking way than he's accustomed to. We used the word “possession” earlier in the sense of bullying or a mistaken feeling of ownership. Here, we use it in a more proper sense – of feeling like both halves of the soulmate belong with and to the other half equally, and of treating the body of your soulmate with the same energy and lack of apprehension with which we touch and live in our own bodies. She loves you and is yours to explore, just as you belong with her. As in the Bible's statement that “I am my beloved's and she is mine,” each individual needs to practice both giving themselves over and taking in their partner completely, like breathing in (taking in their partner) and breathing out (giving oneself away). At present, Luke, you are not breathing your partner in to the degree that would open you up. You know the relationship of energy flow associated with breath – try it with your sexuality.

This is all we can write for now, and will continue over the coming week.

With love,
Your spirit friends